Years ago I got this forward and I shared it with Dave this morning, gotta share it with you all too. You've probably heard this already, but I still laugh when I read it even after all these years.
Human Stupidity
On a Sear's hair dryer:
"Do Not Use While Sleeping:
(I can't tell you how many times I've waken up and caught myself sleep-styling!!!)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(Evidentally, the shoplifter special) Ok this is said on a lot of stuff, really I don't get it!
On a bar of dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how...???)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's just a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
(printed on bottom of box)
"Do not turn upside down."
(ooops, too late)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating"
(As night follows the day...)
On packaging for Rowenta Iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication"
(we could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year olds with head colds off those forklifts)
On Nytol Sleep Aide:
"Warning: May Cause drowsiness"
(Hello???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only"
(as opposed to what?)
that't a valid question... honestly there is not another option...
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use"
(I gotta admit, I'm curious...)
what do they know that we don't?
On Sainsbury's Peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts"
(*** NEWS FLASH***)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts
(step 3 fly delta)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly"
(I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one)
On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain w/ your hands"
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?)
On a bottle of Palmolive Dish Washing liquid:
"Do not use on food"
(Hey Mom, we're out of syrup! It's ok honey, just grab the palmolive)
On an automobile cardboard windshield sun visor:
"Remove visor before driving vehicle"
(You mean you can't see with the visor in the windshield?)
I know we see this crap on a lot of stuff but the funniest part about this email was the stuff the guy ad libbed. I added what I thought of some stuff too... My favorites were the palmolive, the superman costume, and the iron... I hope they made your day!
4 comments:
Andy says: Sara, you're not supposed to really be trying to make sense of those directions. It's just class-action legal words that companies have to use to keep slip-and-fall lawyers out of their hair.
i like the palmolive. was just about to take a swig when i came across this post
can I just say that it totally didn't look all messy like that when I typed it out... why does blogspot do that?
these are funny...i think i have gotten that e-mail at some point or another. and whats with pepole paking over the lines when there is no snow on the ground? do they think b/c it's cold that they need 2 parking spots? drives me crazy.
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